We all know the end is coming, and we've got a mere 3 years and change left before humanity's expiration date comes and goes. Some people have asked me about my carefree tone regarding the end of the world, and to explain it, I thought I'd better talk pickles.
As you may know, I'm a big fan of a good old-fashioned pickle. My Granny Frost always made the best ones in the world, but since she's passed on, I've been reduced to the store-bought kind, with the odd shipment from my incredibly generous Uncle Jimmy. And now I can hear you all scratching your heads out there and asking, "what do pickles have to do with the end of the world, Charlie?"
See, there's not that much time left, and with that knowledge comes a change in focus. You have to maximize the positive and enjoy every day as it comes. And me, I love a good pickle. Crunchy, sour, salty, cool, pickles taste good and they remind me of happy times with Granny Frost. For you it might be something else, eating oatmeal cookies or listening to jazz or maybe visiting all of the wonders of the world (ancient, modern, or natural, take your pick.) Whatever it is, it's time to hop on it while you still can.
But hey, maybe pickles are your thing, too. Lucky you, I'm going to give you the secret Frost family recipe so you, too, can revel in the pleasures of earthly life while you've got it. Ready?
Uncle Jimmy's Salty Garlic Dill Pickles
Recipe to make three 1-quart jars.
4 pounds cucumbers (aim for small, firm, and light colored)
6 cloves of garlic
1 small bundle of dill
1/2 cup salt
3 cups vinegar
6 cups potable water
Optional:
3 pinches ground red chili peppers
regular or green onion, chopped, 3 tablespoons
Soak the cukes in ice water for a couple of hours first to keep 'em crisp.
Dice the garlic and put equal amounts into each jar. Cut the large stems off the dill and by hand remove the larger stems remaining and then evenly distribute the dill into each jar. Add optional ingredients to taste.
Pack as many cucumbers into each jar as possible. Soft cucumbers tend to make soft pickles, so go for light-colored smooth and hard cucumbers. Leave them whole except to fill in the empty spaces in the jars.
Put the 6 cups of water together with the 3 cups of vinegar into a suitable pot and bring to a boil. Once boiling, add the 1/2 cup of salt (a little more is better than a little less). Once the salt is fully dissolved, which takes about 15 seconds while stirring, pour into the jars and seal.
Let the jars cool overnight on the kitchen counter and then refrigerate. If your jars do not leak when turned upside down, invert them every 2-4 days. You should do this inversion at least once and maybe twice -- the problem is that the top cucumbers will not benefit from the soup like the fully submerged ones will.
In two weeks they are ready to enjoy.
NOTE: These are not sterile canning techniques. While the acid from the vinegar and the salt are preservatives, we've never tried to keep these pickles long term (they don't last that long anyhow). This method is aimed at a quick process for eating immediately, not for storing for a year or more.
